The Two Destructive "F" Words. Part 2: Fears

Fears. Sometimes I let my fears wash over me, sometimes I lay awake thinking about them, sometimes I hide them. But I know that if I let my fears control me, I will never live the free life that God is holding out for me in his hands. A few weeks ago I was overwhelmed by fear of the unknown and then I spent some time with God and this verse has been on my heart ever since:

Psalm 31:5 "Into your hands I commit my spirit;

redeem me, O Lord the God of truth."

There are things that I am afraid of. Finances, missing friends and family, and coming out of my shell to make new friends, among others that are a little too personal for the world wide web. In all honesty, I am really shy. But I will not let my past or my present, define my future. I will not let the fear of rejection that hit me at Summit High School happen again at SPU. But I will commit my spirit, my thoughts, my actions, and my feelings to the Lord because He is everything and can do everything.

Fears will not rule my life. They will not control the mindset I have when I move into a new city, new school, or new church with lots of new people. God is the Prince of Peace and I choose to walk in that.

I will not quit school out of fear of finances. I will not shut down out of fear of rejection. I will not give up on my education out of fear of failure. I will perservere past every fear as I learn to lay my life at Jesus' feet and walk in the power that the Holy Spirit gives me.

The Two Destructive "F" Words. Part 1: Finances

A couple months ago my pastor spoke on how to reach your biggest dreams possible and how there are two big "F" words that we should not let get in the way: Finances and Fears.

If I let them, finances could easily stop me from pursuing my dreams. I could say that I do not have the money to go to college, especially one as prestigious as Seattle Pacific University. But part of my dream and God's calling on my life includes Seattle Pacific and just in general, college is a necessity to be an oral surgeon.

God can provide. God will provide. But I have to act on the opportunities He gives me.

One opportunity is my job. I am working somewhere around thirty hours a week at a sub shop and I babysit regularly. Every bit of money that I can possibly save, I do. But it's not enough.

Another opportunity is scholarships. I am spending any free time that I have applying for them. I even got a letter today saying that I was a semi-finalist out of 500+ essays for one. Sure, I didn't win that, but it made me feel more capable of getting others.

This blog is another opportunity. I know that asking for financial support through a blog is not the most politically correct thing to do. (It's definitely humbling to be doing this.) I know that as of today, I only have six followers, but that is six more than two months ago when I started this blog. I know that the economy is still rough. But through all of that, I know that there are people who believe in my dream and who want to help with medical missions. In reality, a donation now will lead to being able to do medical
missions in the future.

With the money I will be saving over the summer, my $15,000 per year scholarship from SPU, state loans, and work study, I will end up somewhere around $8,000 short just for this year. I can always get private loans but that will only get me so far. Sometime I see the eight thousand and I want to give up. I want to say that I'm not able....but God is able.

So what I'm asking for is your help in supporting my dream. Just click the little button to the right that says donate. The transaction goes through paypal but if you are uneasy about that just email me at amerz35@hotmail.com. No amount could be too small. If you are unable or uncomfortable with giving financially, I could use all of the prayers I can get!

Thank you so much!

P.S. My posts will not all be about money, I will continue to share my thoughts and feelings of normal life.

Impressions.

These are some of my nieces and nephews (the two older ones are my little sisters). I love them. Lucky for me, they're living with me for the summer! As cheesy as it sounds, I'd do anything for them.

I have so much love in my heart for children. Kids are special. Not because they are cute and say the funniest things, but because they have  potential.  They can be great, they can do great things, and they can change society in major ways. Potential is huge. Somehow, over time, most people get stuck in the same place in life but kids are always changing, always growing, learning and thinking.

The scary thing about all of this, is that as much as children have potential, they are also highly impressionable. Whatever I do, whatever I say, my nieces and nephew will follow. I have the opportunity to take part in molding the attitudes, thoughts, and lives of every child I encounter.

I hope and pray, and pray some more, that the affect that I have on the lives of children, whether family or not, is positive. I hope that society will improve as new generations take over. I want my life to be one that younger children can follow.

For awhile, I strongly considered pediatric dentistry.  It's still on my heart, though I definitely feel called, and will follow the calling, to oral surgery. I have found ways to participate in pediatrics a little still, and it's been wonderful.  There's one day a year, called "Give Kids a Smile Day", that basically screens uninsured children for cavities and necessary dental operations. After the kids are screened, dentists around the area offer up their services for free to help the children. Last year, I was able to participate in two screening days.  It was crazy to see how horribly the children's mouths were taken care of, but it was amazing to see their reaction to getting help and so fun to teach them how to brush with stuffed animals.  I have a feeling that I will never completely leave pediatrics behind, especially since many of the people seeking help for clefts in third world countries are children.

Never forget the impact that you have on the lives around you, especially the young, impressionable ones.

I love dentistry.

Random side note: I definitely planned on writing more often, and I will from now on, but the last few (and final!) weeks of school were insanely busy.

So anyways, I love dentistry.

When people hear that I want to be an oral surgeon they wonder why I would want to touch people's dirty mouths all day.  Many people mention something about the great pay I'll receive, as if that is the reason for my dream.

But money is hardly the reason and dirty mouths can be cleaned.  I love dentistry because I love smiles. Smiles bring joy. With dentistry, I can heal people's mouths so that they can be confident in their smile. Mouths, teeth, lips are essential to everyday activities. Talking, laughing, and eating are all accomplished with a healthy mouth.  I love that by being an oral surgeon I can help people enjoy their everyday motions, and I will have the opportunity to share the joy that surpasses the happiness of the daily motions of society.

Not only that, but I'm a huge nerd when it comes to teeth.  When a friend starts talking about their braces or some work that they have to have done on their teeth, I ask them to open wide, no matter where we are.  I like to see what dentists are doing and how it all works.  I like to call teeth by their numbers.  I like to look at my chart when I go to the orthodontist. When my nephew lost his first tooth, it was a very proud moment. When my sister went to her consultation at her new orthodontist, I asked more questions than my mom and sister combined.



Dentistry. It's one of my dreams, passions, and my nerd factor.

Let the Blogging Begin!

Hi friends! I've been captivated by the blogs of others and so, I've decided to start my own. I am so excited to share my heart with all of you! Mostly, this blog will let you walk with me through my journey of faith, following God's will, and everything college and dentistry-like! In the fall, I'll be going to Seattle Pacific University to major in Biochemistry with a "pre-dentistry focus". And in the far future (we're talking ten to twelve years of school, people) I'll hopefully be an oral surgeon, with the knowledge and passion to repair the mouths of kids with clefts in countries where the resources and money are not available. My heart has been in this since I was little and experienced surgery after surgery for my cleft lip and palate (I've had somewhere around 20 surgeries). I cannot wait to pass on this healing to others and bring with it, the spiritual healing of Christ.

I ran across 2 Corinthians 5:16-19 in my devotions last night and though I've heard this verse many times before, it hit me in a new way. The verse says:

"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting the men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."

I want to see God's beauty in the children with clefts; kids that are regarded by the world (especially in third world countries) as ugly and messed up. I want to reconcile these children to Christ. I want to reconcile them to their communities and families. In their healing, I pray that they will turn to Christ and become a new creation in Him. I love Jesus, I love the beauty that is found in each of us through Him, and I want the world to see that beauty.