The Two Destructive "F" Words. Part 2: Fears

Fears. Sometimes I let my fears wash over me, sometimes I lay awake thinking about them, sometimes I hide them. But I know that if I let my fears control me, I will never live the free life that God is holding out for me in his hands. A few weeks ago I was overwhelmed by fear of the unknown and then I spent some time with God and this verse has been on my heart ever since:

Psalm 31:5 "Into your hands I commit my spirit;

redeem me, O Lord the God of truth."

There are things that I am afraid of. Finances, missing friends and family, and coming out of my shell to make new friends, among others that are a little too personal for the world wide web. In all honesty, I am really shy. But I will not let my past or my present, define my future. I will not let the fear of rejection that hit me at Summit High School happen again at SPU. But I will commit my spirit, my thoughts, my actions, and my feelings to the Lord because He is everything and can do everything.

Fears will not rule my life. They will not control the mindset I have when I move into a new city, new school, or new church with lots of new people. God is the Prince of Peace and I choose to walk in that.

I will not quit school out of fear of finances. I will not shut down out of fear of rejection. I will not give up on my education out of fear of failure. I will perservere past every fear as I learn to lay my life at Jesus' feet and walk in the power that the Holy Spirit gives me.

The Two Destructive "F" Words. Part 1: Finances

A couple months ago my pastor spoke on how to reach your biggest dreams possible and how there are two big "F" words that we should not let get in the way: Finances and Fears.

If I let them, finances could easily stop me from pursuing my dreams. I could say that I do not have the money to go to college, especially one as prestigious as Seattle Pacific University. But part of my dream and God's calling on my life includes Seattle Pacific and just in general, college is a necessity to be an oral surgeon.

God can provide. God will provide. But I have to act on the opportunities He gives me.

One opportunity is my job. I am working somewhere around thirty hours a week at a sub shop and I babysit regularly. Every bit of money that I can possibly save, I do. But it's not enough.

Another opportunity is scholarships. I am spending any free time that I have applying for them. I even got a letter today saying that I was a semi-finalist out of 500+ essays for one. Sure, I didn't win that, but it made me feel more capable of getting others.

This blog is another opportunity. I know that asking for financial support through a blog is not the most politically correct thing to do. (It's definitely humbling to be doing this.) I know that as of today, I only have six followers, but that is six more than two months ago when I started this blog. I know that the economy is still rough. But through all of that, I know that there are people who believe in my dream and who want to help with medical missions. In reality, a donation now will lead to being able to do medical
missions in the future.

With the money I will be saving over the summer, my $15,000 per year scholarship from SPU, state loans, and work study, I will end up somewhere around $8,000 short just for this year. I can always get private loans but that will only get me so far. Sometime I see the eight thousand and I want to give up. I want to say that I'm not able....but God is able.

So what I'm asking for is your help in supporting my dream. Just click the little button to the right that says donate. The transaction goes through paypal but if you are uneasy about that just email me at amerz35@hotmail.com. No amount could be too small. If you are unable or uncomfortable with giving financially, I could use all of the prayers I can get!

Thank you so much!

P.S. My posts will not all be about money, I will continue to share my thoughts and feelings of normal life.